Chapter 5 March 19, 2008

Dear Jonathan,

My mother changing her ways? Hah! Nice joke there Jon! You should’ve seen the moment when she saw the bill being delivered. She ran outside and started flirting with the mailman as if HE was the one that we were going to pay! (See what I mean when I resemble my mother in the least? She should just go dye her hair blonde! I must’ve been my father’s child… whoever he is.)

Unfortunately for mom, she was hitting on the wrong kind of guy. He was apparently gay and was having an affair with the paper boy. Well, that’s what my mom told me but seriously, ugh pedophile much? I’m fed up with her entire act of attempting to woo the entire male population here at Littlebrook.

Just the other day, she invited over a bunch of strangers into our house who were passing by, and I wasn’t pleased. I was trying to teach Mellie how to walk and talk and all those other necessary skills for life. Last think Mellie needed were strangers in the house to distract her from the task at hand.

I gave up after a while and sat down with some of them. Maybe they weren’t that bad, you know. I talked to this Devonny chick. She apparently recently moved here as well and well, frankly, she’s pregnant and waddles around a lot. From what I can tell, she doesn’t like mom much…

..but from what my mom said, she and my mom apparently hit it off earlier in the week when I was looking after Mellie. My mom, being the smartest tool in the shed, points out the fact that Devonny’s married as you can see. Needless to say Devonny said she was surprised someone’s first greeting towards her was to point at her ring and say, “Aha! You are married!” Another proof that my mom is from another planet. Devonny probably thinks we’re all looney.

Mom obviously started flirting with the most attractive guy there. I didn’t bother catching his name, I mean knowing my mother she’ll have a new boy toy within the next 24 hours. And the other guy that came with the other guy? He’s an ass. I mean it he started boo-ing at Mellie playing with her xylophone toy. She’s two years old for crying out loud! Who did he expect? Mozart?

Needless to say you know me. I threw a shit fit at the whole impromtu party and the guests were shocked, especially boy toy #2.

He was shocked all right….

Mom then had the audacity to yell at me. She said I was being inhospitable and a grade A biatch . Needless to say, we got into another fight. She doesn’t think of anyone but herself, and then she has the nerve to yell at me being inhospitable? I can’t stand her sometimes. I wish I could come home and live with you Jon, your mama wouldn’t mind would she. She was always kind to me. I’m nothing like, and nothing to my mother…

…absolutley nothing.

Love Christine

[Ahh!! Stupid me, I'd forgotten to set up the two families in this story in a different neighboorhood from the ones in The Cottage. For story's sake, let's hope he doesn't show up again in this storyline....]